Brooke Christian advises women never to stop flirting — with their significant others and with themselves.
It’s a love affair that set the foundation for Flirty Girl, her Waccabuc-based business. Through the honesty of her blog, along with women-to-women discussions, Christian hopes to spread a message of sexual empowerment, particularly for a gender that is naturally self-critical.
“We’re sexy the way we are. We just have to tune into it,” she says.
In order to feel sexy, Christian suggests reconnecting with your seductive side. Her brand — which focuses on mothers, like herself, experiencing challenges with their sex lives post-motherhood — teaches women how to reignite the spark in their sexual relationships. She shares her insight during panel discussions, across social media and through trunk shows, which she hosts inside a loft on her property, known as the Boudoir.
“I get told that I’m this hidden gem in the county. I’m like this secret specialty,” she says.
During the shows, she hosts 10 to 20 women, leads a discussion and introduces them to — uh — sex toys. She makes every effort to ensure that the women feel comfortable, as it can be a tricky (even taboo) subject for many.
“This is a totally new market,” she says. “You’re looking at women with means, intellect, education and low libidos, and they don’t know these products exist. If they do know, they don’t want to walk into a perceived seedy sex store on the side of I-95. And they’re not going to pull up in their Suburban with school stickers on the back.”
The Boudoir doubles as something of a safe haven, secured by the luxurious ambiance of blush pink walls, shaggy carpet and plush armchairs. And toys — of course — which include carefully curated, quality items, with some costing upward of $300.
“If I could create a lush environment for women to go in, buy their toys and hang out with their friends, I could change the perception of what it means to shop for sex toys,” she says. “I wanted women to understand that when they walked through my door, they were going to have a beautiful experience.”
In addition to the Boudoir, she also does private consultations and photo shoots.
Ironically enough, Flirty Girl all started with a photo shoot — of Christian herself. Prior to founding Flirty Girl, Christian worked in publishing for women’s magazines, including Harper’s Bazaar, InStyle and O, The Oprah Magazine. After having her second child, she suffered from severe postpartum depression. Part of her recovery was to lose weight and work on self-confidence. For a wedding anniversary, she booked a boudoir shoot and her confidence skyrocketed.
“During the boudoir shoot, it was like a phoenix rising,” she says.
Ever since, she’s been passionate about changing women’s lives by helping them change the way they see themselves — and sex.
“That’s why I buy lingerie that’s made for real women (women who have babies and C-section scars), which help to lift breasts that have been used to breastfeed.”
Despite February being the month of romance, Christian believes that Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be a designated time to heighten the mood. Why? Because, according to her, it suggests compulsory action, which is the opposite of sexy.
“I hate Valentine’s Day because of that level of expectation, because I think that we should be having great sex throughout the year. And most men hate it, because they feel like they have to do something. There’s nothing sexy about obligatory sex.”
Instead, she recommends nurturing a relationship all year by dating your significant other. To hone this point, Christian refers to herself as both the wife and part-time girlfriend to her husband.
“We have to date our spouses again, because so much gets lost in the act of parenting and mothering that we lose that romance and flirting,” Christian says. “What I mean by dating your husband is flirting with him, because that’s what creates an aphrodisiac and what that creates is anticipation.”
In addition to the occasional date night — once a week or once every two weeks, she says — Christian suggests committing to “looking good,” just 30 percent of the time.
“I think that’s realistic. I’m not telling women to do that every single day, but you feel better when you look better.”
And when you feel better, you’re naturally sexier.
“Sexiness has nothing to do with how we look,” she says. “Sexiness is born from confidence and you can look like anything if you’re confident.”
Christian hopes to continue growing her brand. She is currently working on publishing a book and exploring the option of a Flirty Girl affiliate program with national ambassadors.
But if there’s one thing that won’t change, it’s that what happens in the Boudoir stays in the Boudoir.
“It is such an honor when women share their stories,” she says. “I always tell women that I’m a vault. I never share information.”