MUCH TO DO ABOUT NOTHING

J- Well, another year has come and gone and I am sitting here, like millions of others, making my resolutions list. It is a long one, as usual, and as usual, I will probably not accomplish many of the things on it for various reasons.
Some of the things on my list are:

  1. Reading the Bible in its entirety, daunting to say the least. (Those pages are really thin, which leads one to think that it is a quicker read than it actually is).
  2. Skydiving (not likely because I am afraid of jumping out of fast-moving things at great heights. But it sounds cool).
  3. Writing my screenplay, which has been in the works for about a decade, so this year is as likely as any, I suppose.
  4. Learning another language
  5. Learning to play the tuba (I’m not kidding).
  6. Taking up fencing
  7. Giving up coffee (been trying that one for a while).
  8. And so on. Perhaps I should make an easier list to ensure a higher success rate?

M– I love clean slates. I start off every Monday morning with a list of resolutions for the week (e.g., eat less, drink more water and less wine, etc.) and then by Wednesday afternoon, when I’ve blown them all, I say to myself, “Next Monday I’ll….” But New Year’s resolutions are a whole different animal. On New Year’s Day, I like to sit at my kitchen table, take stock of my life and write out a game plan for becoming a better and more evolved soul. So far this year I’ve resolved to:

  1. Drive closer to the speed limit and not just when there is a police truck flashing my speed.
  2. Replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump (don’t ask).
  3. Find a scale that doesn’t exaggerate my weight.
  4. Never again take a sleeping pill and laxative on the same night.
  5. Not buy any more books until I finish the 120+ on my Kindle and the 50+ on my nightstand.
  6. Not listen to Howard Stern on the car radio until after I’ve dropped the kids at school.
  7. Fine-tune my bored and unamused look.
  8. Stop buying clothes that will look good “when I lose a few pounds.”
  9. Listen more and judge less.
  10. Edit, print, organize and make books from the photos I download rather than allowing them to simply exist on my hard drive.
  11. Not scare my husband by answering my (hands-free) cell phone while I’m in my car crying hysterically over an audio book.
  12. Resist the urge to rear-end cars with bumper stickers proclaiming their children are “honor students at….” or are attending Harvard, Yale, etc.
  13. Not immediately dislike my fellow middle-agers who are naturally thin, wrinkle-free and ache-free!
  14. Take my Rosetta Stone Spanish CDs out of the box and listen to them. (I’ve owned them for three years).
  15. Get back into yoga, meditate daily and stop drinking coffee.
  16. Complete the “All About Me” book so my kids and grandkids will know that, before my mind began to deteriorate, I was a semi-interesting person.

J- Yikes! Your list is longer than mine! I feel better already. So why DO we make these crazy, unachievable lists? Because I usually just get upset with myself for failing to accomplish my goals. It’s very upsetting to look at a notepad with no check marks on it. I guess it’s the fact that a new year seems so, well, new. It’s enticing to think of a clean slate, a new beginning, and a chance to change. But alas, there are no clean slates. We can only hope to embellish and to enhance the beautiful works of art that we all already are, stroke by stroke, layer by layer, day by day. So, I will keep making my lists, and keep hoping, thinking, and believing that one day, I will see a sea of red – check marks that is.

M- Maybe we should all just work on being a bit better than we were the last year (whatever that means for you). Giving up Howard Stern cold turkey in the mornings is too drastic a change. But perhaps I could manage to tune into NPR at least two days a week – at least until all the kids have gone off to college!

Wag Up

Books on the Common in Ridgefield and Diane’s Books in Greenwich – we’ve got to support the local bookstores while we still can. (M)
Mass transit – I love the ease of moving around the city. It’s fast and affordable and you don’t have to depend on taxis (which seem to be nonexistent for two hours mid-afternoon. What’s up with that? Can’t taxi services figure out how to stagger their shift changes?) (J)

Wag Down

Drivers who don’t understand that slower cars are supposed to stay in the right lane. (M)
Mass transit – People are so grumpy down there! It must be a subterranean thing. (J)
Email Class&Sass at marthaandjen@wagmag.com

2 Comments

  • Wagger says:

    resolutions
    Perhaps together you can do the Rosetta Stone Spanish and can give up coffee (don’t recommend if you want to get anything else on your list done).
    At lease these are two goals you have together and can know them out. Jen, you might table the tuba and the bible and switch that out for some of Martha’s books still waiting to be read. And careful with the sky diving, because we love you. Martha, the daily meditation definitely help you achieve all the other goals. And yes, replacing the nozzle before driving away is key to a good life for you and others. The other very rainy day, I drove away from a pump with the Nozzle still in my gas tank and did not realize I had done this until I saw the pump and hose dangling out of my car in my rear view mirror, miles later! Shocked and horrified, I went back to the station in the pouring rain with my tail between my legs and the attendants looked at me and said, “OK and by the way, here is your receipt”
    My husband says, “I wouldn’t brag about this if I were you….”
    Posted by Marisa January 07, 2012 17:57:37

  • Wagger says:

    RESOLUTIONS…
    I just think that every one of my friends is missing the point here. Yes, it’s about a list of things to do, but it’s also about renewal, and re-evaluation. The Blonde got it right. We are ALREADY beautiful works of art, we just need to keep adding to what we already are, and day by day become a big ‘badder ass’ version of who we are already! Keep trying…that’s my new years wish. To just keep trying….
    Posted by AS January 14, 2012 02:19:06

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